1. |
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Don't panic everybody, we've got this
Everything is under control
Don't listen to the alarmists amongst you
We told you everything you need to know
Don't panic everybody, keep hustling
Keep working til you're down to your bones
Don't question anything that don't seem right to you
Because we told you everything you need to know
Don't panic everybody, stay strong now
Everyone just wants a good time
Keep your pessimistic thoughts to yourself
Your reality is killing our vibe
Don't panic everybody, stay hungry
The sun's shining so keep making hay
If you think we need improvements
Please fill out a form
Because the system was designed this way
Don't panic everybody, we hear you
We've been coasting so long on this road
Keep both hands on the wheel
Because we cut the brakes
Because we told you everything you need to know
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2. |
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I've got two weeks off for selling my soul
I spend fifty damn weeks of my life queueing at Heathrow
I've got my freedom back
My freedom to choose
I got a free bottle of water when I bought the Telegraph news
I've got two weeks off for selling my time
I spend fifty weeks of the year standing in line
I've got my freedom back
my freedom to choose
I've got a little plastic tray for my watch and my shoes
I've got 100 ml of fresh mountain dew
I've got 100ml of cheap shampoo
I've got 24 hours til I wash and use the loo
I've got 24 hours left in this queue
Well freedom tastes nice
I don't care what you say
I'm gonna do what I want
Coz I want my holiday
I've got two weeks of for selling my life
I spend fifty weeks of the year complaining about my wife
I've got my freedom back
my freedom to choose
I clapped for the NHS
now I'm in ICU
Well freedom tastes nice
I don't care what you say
I'm gonna do what I want
Coz I want my holiday
I want to sit round a pool with English people
I want to drink San Miguel with English people
I want to eat roast dinners in Spain with English people
I want to turn red like a lobster like English people
I want to complain that you can't get the staff like English people
I want to moan about wearing a mask like English people
I want to get nostalgic for a war in the past like English people
I want to lick the boots of the government like English people
I want to drag everybody down with me like English people
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3. |
Pretend That It's Normal
06:51
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Fire in the woods and fire at sea
Let’s pretend that it’s normal
Sewage in my house up to my knees
Let’s pretend that it's normal
A tiger in my kitchen that wants to eat me
Let's pretend that it's normal
6 million die of a preventable disease
Let's pretend that it's normal
No one can afford any food to eat
Let pretend that it's normal
We grow food to feed cows so we can eat beef
Lets pretend that it's normal
Jeff Bezos has more money than he’ll ever need
Let’s pretend that it's normal
Victorian levels of poverty
Lets pretend that it's normal
We can’t afford house you but we’re armed to the teeth
Let's pretend that it's normal
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4. |
Doubting Thomas
06:00
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I admire your confidence
Your certainty
To live life without experiencing doubt
A pro-life philosophy
Like a baby bird
Opening wide for a chewed up worm
You gobbled up everything they fed you honey
Some people never learn
Oh, it's just a little cold there baby, it's alright, it's alright
It's just a little bug going round, it's alright, it's alright
It's just a little flu there sugar, it's alright, it's alright
It's just a little flesh wound baby, it's alright, it's alright
Nothing bad could ever happen to anybody
Unless it happens to me
I'm not saying I'm a Doubting Thomas
I just need to see it to believe
Bring out your dead
Well if I don't see 'em
They ain't dead to me
Not until I see my cold body
On the slab at the mortuary
Oh, it's just a little cold there baby, it's alright, it's alright
It's just a little bug going round, it's alright, it's alright
It's just a little flu there sugar, it's alright, it's alright
It's just a little flesh wound honey, it's alright, it's alright
Oh it's just a little flu there baby it's alright, it's alright
It's just a little bug going round it's alright, it's alright
It's just a little airborn baby, it's alright, it's alright
It's just a little flesh wound baby, it's alright, it's alright
Oh it's just a little flu there baby it's alright, it's alright
It's just a little bug going round it's alright, it's alright
It's just a little airborn baby, it's alright, it's alright
It's just a little 3 degrees warmer, it's alright, it's alright
It's just a little mass extinction event, honey, it's alright, it's alright
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5. |
Susan's Onions
02:57
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Susan's onions have a lot to say about everything
but no one wants to know
Susan's onions hold the secret to life
but everybody wants miracle grow
Susan's onions
Magical thinking got a lot to answer for
There's all hopium in their veins
Susan's onions just need care and attention
It ain't the gods that bring the rains.
Susan's onions
Susan's Onions are a county showstopper
but they won't win first prize
Susan's onions aren't in it for the competition
they just wanna bring food for you guys
Susan's onions
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6. |
Cat Gap
03:49
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Hiding in the long grass
Deep inside a cave
In the bowels of a tree
Where we think that we’re safe
from the cat gap
Yeah
No record of you here
And if the records don’t show
Then you cannot exist
Even Schrodinger knows
there’s a cat gap
Yeah
Where did you go?
Millions of years and no data to log
Your pawprints hidden in the Siberian peat bog
There’s a cat gap
yeah
Hiding in plain sight
Disguised as a bear
Putting us off with your scent everywhere
There’s a cat gap
Yeah
Where did you go?
Where did you go?
There’s a cat gap
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7. |
The Voids
04:01
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Don't get yourself trapped in the voids
Avoid the voids, the voids, the voids
Two to three seconds, you'll be covered in grain
Two to three seconds, you'll be helpless again
Two to three seconds you'll be covered in grain
Health and safety's gone mad
isn't it sad, it's sad it's sad it's sad it's sad
No one used to care if you got drowned in grain
No one used to turn it into a public campaign
No one used to care if you got drowned in grain
Sinking in grain, sinking in grain, sinking in grain
Feeling no pain
You can't say anything you like these days
these days these day these days these days
Now you just get interviewed on Radio 4
Now you just get a book deal and a UK tour
Now you just get interviewed on Radio 4
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8. |
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The rats are in the compost
I don't know what to do
The rats are in the compost
DIgging for clues
The rats are making tunnels to benefit you
The rats are making tunnels to benefit you
And if you follow them down
Have a mooch around
You'll see the truth
The rats are in the compost
I don't know what to do
The rats are in the compost
looking for food
The rats are in the compost spreading good news
The rats are in the compost spreading good news
Bible in hand,
they tell you their plan
It's foolproof
The rats are in the compost
I don't know what to do
The rats are in the compost
digging for clues
The rats are making tunnels to benefit you
They've been studying aeration at St Andrews
The rats are in my brain
but I can't complain
It's the truth
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9. |
Accidental Rhubarb
02:58
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Even the avid gardener has some oversight
Even Monty Don sows courgettes ahead of time
And no one in the British Isles has access to sunlight
No one in the British Isles
There's accidental rhubarb, baby
growing in the ground
Dunno how it got there
I swear it planted itself somehow
Even the most attentive gardener has some weeds
The neatest gardens have the most vulnerable seeds
And we can't all go round snipping slugs and snails in half
And leaving trails of salt along the garden path
There's accidental rhubarb, baby
growing in the ground
No idea how it got there I swear
it planted itself somehow
The rhubarb is growing
it shows no sign of slowing
there's no way of knowing when it will stop
There's accidental rhubarb, baby
growing in the ground
dunno how it got there
i swear it planted itself somehow
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10. |
Galileo
04:19
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Galileo had some big ideas
It put people's faith to the test
Galileo said the Earth went round the sun
So they put him under house arrest
Giordano Bruno had some radical thoughts
But it was too much to take
Giordano Bruno said the Earth was round
So they, they burnt him at the stake
These days they might not burn you
You'll just get ignored
So if you feel like your shouting into the void
You're not alone
Welcome aboard!
Minimise me
minimise me
minimise me
minimise me
Galileo was ahead of his time
But he was done for heresy
Galileo wasn't even the first of his kind
to talk about heliocentricity
Galileo had a telescope
but it was too much too soon
No one wanted to see for themselves
the mountains of the moon
These days they might not burn you
you'll just get ignored
so if you feel like you're shouting into the void
you're not alone
Welcome aboard!
Minimise me...
Galileo lived 400 years ago
you'd think things might have changed
but it Galileo was here right now
we'd still be living in the dark age
Minimise me
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11. |
Unliveable!
03:48
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We're on course to make it unliveable
Read the reports, the damage ain't minimal
We're not gonna change
And I hate to sound cynical
Let's do something now before it gets biblical
Drilling for oil, that's kinda untenable
We need a new manager, call Terry Venables
We should have consulted Bede the most Venerable
Now we're on course to make it unliveable
But I don't mind, as long as I get to work on time
And I don't mind
As long as Murdoch and his hacks keep telling me I'm right
The rich are secure in their nuclear bunkers
We're turning off lights and putting on jumpers
You kids and your lattes, what have you been smoking?
Your message has failed, Richard Madely has spoken
When the curtain comes down and you rewatch the show
And you see all the pensioners you left in the road
you flattened them all with your SUV
so you could pick up your kids at quarter past 3
You think to yourself as you float out to sea
this sort of thing never happens to me
We're on course to make it unliveable
We did our best and now it's unliveable
we passed the test and now it's unliveable
Tsunamis and crop death and extinction of animals
We're on course to make it unliveable...
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12. |
Bomb Everyone
05:07
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I'm not asking nicely
I'm not talking anymore
I've exhausted all my thoughts and prayers
I raised a flag in your support
I'm a pacifist at heart
A neoliberal to the core
and now I've had a glug of Thatchers and I'm ready for some war
I've had a glug of thatchers and I'm ready for some war
Of all the types of mongering I thought I'd get into
I never thought I'd be a mongerer for you
Bomb bomb bomb everyone!
And put me on the frontline!
I'd accept a billion die
just so I can be on the winning side
so bomb, bomb, bomb everyone
I've never so much as held a gun
but I want every child to have access to one
I want every child armed and ready
I used to cry myself to sleep
When I saw a tweet by the president
But now I'm loading up my cannon with confetti
I'm loading up my cannon with confetti.
Of all the types of mongering I thought I'd get into
I never thought I'd be a mongerer for you
Bomb bomb bomb everyone!
And put me on the frontline!
I'd accept 3 million die
just so I can be on the winning side
so bomb, bomb, bomb everyone
I'm marching on the government
Throw democracy in the bin
Peace has had its chance
now I've bought shares in Lockheed Martin
I'm anti-imperialist so long as it suits me
And now I'm asking to crowdfund World War Three
I'm asking to crowdfund world war three
Of all the types of mongering I thought I'd get into
I never thought I'd be a mongerer for you
Bomb bomb bomb everyone!
And put me on the frontline!
I'd accept 9 billion die
just so I can be on the winning side
so bomb, bomb, bomb everyone
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13. |
Wall Of Ham
03:52
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There's a wall of ham floating in the middle of the North Atlantic
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Liam McKenna Wales, UK
Writer/performer/musician. Co-founder of the mighty and unstoppable force of Fire Donkey
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